Video games

Below are some definitive terms to help in reading the post and in understanding the awesomeness of video games.

Clenching - an act that is partaken by the potential victim(s) which involves tightening of the butt cheeks in the hope that a goal will not be scored at a vulnerable moment infront of goal.

Nyaksville - king clench.

Heartbreaker - a last minute goal scored just before the whistle is blown at the end of a tied game bringing an end to untold clenching.

Waste - nyaksville... Uh I mean a person who is generally a let down either because of their wastious (see Waste) play or they abscond a summons by the almighty boys council of supreme elder experts (phew) for a game session.

Overhead - a favorite statement of some *cough* nyaksville... Uh a pass through the air that when executed well raises clenching statistics by the opponent(s).

Sortment - a regular result guaranteed when playing against the awesome author, haha. A beating that demoralizes the opponent and sends them away with their tail in-between their legs. Suffered often by the boys from kile but still they talk...

Trojan - a 7 goal thriller with a one sided bias. They are rare, mystical and highly valued. A game with lots of one sided cheers (obviously).

Kichapo - synonym for sortment.

Doubles - a soccer match of two opponents in one team against two others. Requires elaborate team work and synergy.

Game session - self explanatory unless you are nyaksville the waste.

First things first, to clear the air that is. Langata boys rule FIFA and are the champions henceforth forever more. They are the kings of sortment in halo, call of duty and gears of war too. Any objections?? No? Ok, right then. Since we are all in agreement, I will carry on.

Ahem on with the post. I issue a disclaimer at this point, I may digress but I will hopefully nail my point, ha :-). I will demystify the perceivably odd and misunderstood attachment that some men have to video games. Firstly, it's not just jobless men who play these things, vegetating (coined by genius Jeanette) is a worthy and tiring career that takes much time to perfect. But in all seriousness, some of my boys with whom I game are actually gainfully employed or in university and the games never prevent them from achieving what they need to. Ok, I'm done with the serious part. Fun ahead :-).

 Told you :-)

A typically game session usually spawns from a grudge match owed or passionate trash talking (lost art) that irks the listener until the challenge is announced. After getting comfortable amidst trash talk and counter trash talk (includes talking about past wins, threats of eternal domination and descriptions of ass whoopings so severe that some seek their girlfriends for solace), the games begin. Usually the period of the gaming session and dynamics such as doubles or singles are factors decided upon there and then before the battle for bragging rights begins.

There are sore losers in this world, I have been labelled a sore winner :-). All my boys hate to lose to me because of my apparent over the top goal and win celebrations. Pshhht, such bull. Surely a wild dance with a song or two periodically isn't that bad (read EVERYTIME). Sure I explode into energetic fist pumping and laugh with evil glee as my opponents clench but isn't that what everyone does? I'm a great team mate after all, i just happen to know it.

It has been noted by some of my non gaming friends that walking into the room when we are gaming is an experience. As men, our multitasking is non existent thus greetings periodically pass unnoticed and phones ring furiously yet remain unanswered (notice to all girlfriends). In addition to this, there is the noise of jubilation, loud expressions of disappointment and the barked team instruction with the most common being OVERHEAD by said nyaksville.

Haha, sometimes gamers get lost in their worlds

Games truly bring out sides of people you did not know. Quiet and composed individuals suddenly light up and assertively give instructions. The essence of competition exists in every man and this is one of the most amusing manifestations of pure testosterone that I have come across. A loss can be etched deep into the losers mind such that the desire for revenge shines brightly in his eyes. A winner can prance about chest forward with such pride one would assume they have won a war. In some ways, sport and video games are to men what shopping is for women. Harmless fun that sometimes has an uplifting effect like no other.

*for reasons of avoiding his tears, I will not disclose the identity of nyaksville :-) though he is upstanding and quite a guy despite said wastiousness.

Pictures from google images