Dates to Drinks

When I was younger I remember having such curiosity about the mysterious substance known as alcohol. I was simply overflowing with eagerness to sample this almost forbidden fruit. I could simply not wait to see what it was all about. In fact, I remember on one occasion we had some fresh juice that fermented and that evening mum making a joke about how it must be so ripe that one would get high off it. This is my chance I thought brilliantly, I had found a loophole. I immediately offered to get rid of the juice with my own plans in mind. Oh the joy I felt because of my said brilliance haha. I snuck off with the stash with big plans of discovery. I dispatched the juice with the necessary speed so as not to get caught and then waited. I stared into the back yard that evening waiting to see heavenly visions, lights, and mermaids even but alas, the only evidence that closely matched all I had heard about alcohol is that I spent quality time after that in the bathroom, sitting upright. I dare say my curiosity was dampened, for the moment.

I miss those days. Where did they go? I know change is inevitable but sometimes the harsh reality seems to surprise me unexpectedly. It almost has the same effect as rain clouds on Nairobians, causing mass panic and mayhem. I'm talking about the dating scene by the way, let me elaborate.

I once heard a story about a young man who awaited his female visitor at a bus stop with a rose flower in his mouth. I hope for his sake that he cut out the thorns. Sadly though, the young man had plans to uh express his physical interest in the girl but word has it that he was blue that evening and so were his balls. Such stories are rather common I hear and they range from cooked meals to expensive dates that end up with some parties suffering untold frustrations and empty beds.

I remember the times when girls were, uh, shall I say more modest. When an encounter with a pretty girl would start with the awkward mumbled hello and a milestone was a first kiss on date number x (where x could be two dates later or sometime in the future depending on the wooing ability of the suitor). I remember watching movies in which a night out meant a good movie, a play, dinner parties or even a night dancing at the disco (nothing like the sex with clothes on that happens today). Back then, it did not really matter how much money a man had, girls looked for real love. I often pondered on the tangibility of this love thing. It was the Holy Grail back then. If you had it, every girl you knew would be green with incurable envy. They would be forgiven for being mean to you.

Was it such a different society then? Have we necessarily gone astray? I think things just change. At some point, women realized they were getting the short end of the stick (pun intended) and decided to put matters in their own hands. Sure sometimes this translates into putting beer in their hands but to some extent these days the ends and the means meet at as the night fades.

I am old fashioned, or at least I understand the underlying principles. Those days, it was acknowledged that sex existed, it just was not used to sell everything from toothpaste to yoghurt. Billboard advertisements did not have cleavage that would cause accidents or shirtless men selling uh, who knows, those ones are not really my kind of thing. So basically, we are trying to find true love in a society that has been strong armed into accepting casual sex, single parenthood and a high divorce rate. It’s quite a task. It is probably comparable to the first creature/amphibian that attempted to walk on land. Who knows what will happen. It is quite a daunting task, I may as well attempt to fashion a pair of wings for myself by gluing together feathers left behind by chickens in a coop. Anyway, all I know is that I’m not going to find a lasting partnership, a life long adventure and someone to grow old with over shots at the bar.

As always, thanks for reading as I grow wiser yet remain good looking. Ha, didn't see that coming did ya?

Have a good one :-)

Girls rule

I had brilliantly written this post before with such flow and wisdom that I doubted my input in the piece then I forgot to back it up and, well, computers. Clearly I rewrote it hoping some of the wisdom would percolate from the dimension I lost it too. Anyway, here goes.

Girls are awesome. I love them, and as a straight man I dare say I love them way more than men, obviously, but please, allow me explain myself. Girls naturally figure out many things light years ahead of boys. It's just the way nature intended it to be. Intuition, reading body language and maturing faster than boys are just some of the indicators of their clear merits. I love being a man, I would have it no other way; being a man has helped me appreciate girls even more.

  When I was a young teen, I remember the lesson in which the teacher was explaining some basic biological differences between us. I was at the age when I started noticing the not-so-flat contours on girl's clothes and I would feel my chest tighten when a pretty girl walked past (accompanied by an embarrassing stir in my loins). The teacher was speaking about how at that age, girls grow faster than boys and certain changes take place. This was an age where testosterone was kicking in and as boys, we wanted to compete with anything for whatever flimsy reason we could, at times, no reason was even required. We competed in terms of speed (touching a girls bum then sprinting away at the speed of light), bravery (touching the same girls bum when she is with her herd...uh I mean friends) and meaningless stupidity (asking the girl for her phone number soon after, haha). 

Given the in-built drive to prove that we were the superior gender (not much evidence supporting this), there were verbal protests at the seemingly ridiculous statement that girls grow faster from some of my classmates at the time (I was quiet as I was a very late developer, read short stuff). At some point, the boys were asked to leave the class because it was time for girl talk. In my mind I knew they were being told the secrets of how to rule the world and I willed myself to momentarily change so I could mingle with them and learn these secrets for myself (to conquer the tri state area muhaha, cough cough ok, I give). Little did I know, I was right, thats exactly what was going on.

At some point in a girl’s life, she will have a talk with an older aunt, a sister, a mother or sometimes in rare occasions a fatherly figure. This talk is about the monthly periods leaning towards caution when relating to boys, pregnancy and the clear difference in the life changes taking place. This was the talk that they were having. I had watched a couple of videos back then about how sex was bad and how it would either cause you to explode unexpectedly or make you lose your mind to endless lust and I was frightened into maintaining my virginity way past the legal age of consent. In all honesty though, I wasn't ready but right there lies the fundamental reason why I have so much love and respect for girls/women. Nature has it such that from the moment a girl has her period, she is able to be a mother, not just physically but her whole mindset changes and her behavior too. I have met girls with children who do a lot more with their time and energy than other people. I was always against the saying that a man should marry a girl who is half his age plus seven. A formula my dad mentioned once to which I scoffed at thinking, there is no way between my earlobes that a same age 'thing' cannot work for me. I knew I was the Clark kent of relationships after all (still working on that, so much kryptonite everywhere).

 The ability to carry a fertilized egg and to deliver it as a fully formed human being, an action with its fair amount of miraculous flair gives women power in terms of who they procreate with and when. Scientists tell us that some of the things that we find attractive in each other are the hard wired defaults that point out viable mates for us. This means that after several generations and including the fact that we are sentient beings, rather than responding to enlarged body parts, flashy colors or bottom wagging, we just like what we do when our brains detect similar wavelengths... Oh wait :-). Thus even in a relationship, to some extent the woman lets the man do many things (some to and with her). Given men's liking of sex and women's ability to withhold it, many clueless men are at their mercy.

Most elected presidents are married. Naturally, it is a relationship like any other thus the woman has control over many decisions though it is not always apparent. Most wise leaders know that their wives always see things from a different perspective in a very helpful way and rely on them heavily for support and some amount of guidance. Great things are always accomplished in teams. Sometimes, a team starts with two. Without women, we are nothing as men. They are us.

Have a good one people.

Is love that hard?

I know, yes, I know and have been told that my ego needs to go on a life long diet but goodness, can you blame me. Ok ok, I really should stop because I want you to read this post because horror of horrors, you might actually discover a gem and learn something. As I refrain from being cocky about that, I begin my post.

Really? Is it? I wonder, I really do. I had a conversation with a long time friend of mine and he said he had never been in love. I was shocked beyond words. (picture the cartoon jaw drop) . At his age? How? What had he been doing all this time then, I wondered. Anyway, it got me thinking, maybe this love thing is hard. I empathized with all the people I know out there who fear emotions, for various reasons. Some fears real and others that exist only in their heads. Ranging from manipulative exes to obsessive and eerily possessive behavior. It made some level of sense, I guess, it is scary after all. 

It sounded familiar, plus I knew that there was a time when the whole experience was alien to me and sounded like an equivalent spy mission deep in enemy territory without back up and support ( yes, mission impossible 4 is still fresh on my mind so :-p). Then I realized that things have changed for me. I realized that I conquered several obstacles and eventually ended up loving myself more ( yeah, I'm hoping to get away with that one :-)). I realized that my first notions of the emotions came from what I saw in the movies and heard on radio. Little did I know, everyone else was as clueless as I was. I wonder though, in the far reaches of my mind that I don't visit often, whether my knowledge and confidence on the matter is because of my attitude (willingness to fail and learn from it, several times) and approach towards the whole experience or if I just got lucky. Shrugs, ah, over thinking. 

All I know is, you honestly have to love yourself just as you are ( in my case, as a nut case but it is what it is) in order to be able to love and be loved by another and undertake the challenge of enjoying a healthy relationship. The beauty of the whole thing is finding a balance and living with it from having moments of giddy, tingling and dizzying emotions yet living in the same world in which logic applies.

And since I can't help myself, ha. Made you read. You know you love me xox... What am I doing, haha
Have a good one :-)

Love and such mushy things (man’s view)

First of all, yuck. Then, imagine fist pumping and manly chest thumping. Yeah, ok, that’s not how men really think all the time but I'm trying to infuse some healthy doses of manliness in this post to excuse some of the mushy things I might say in a bit. I'm a manly man, no chest hairs to prove it but it is what it is. Now that I'm done with trying to convince myself of my obvious manliness, on with the post.

I know some of you approach this post with expectations of some amount of wisdom, knowledge and hope. Cast all these aside, I am a rebellious young man with a thirst for adventure and a few good stories in my past. I have discovered many things by stumbling upon them much like bumping into the coffee table in total darkness then cursing out loud while trying to sooth my throbbing toe. I have no proven formula for happiness as I am yet to be cloned, haha.

So now, ze French seem to know all about zees love, no? how about the romantic Italians? Or the passionate and energetic Spanish eh? Well, I have never been to any of the aforementioned countries yet I claim to have some understanding of the matter at hand, pah, such mindless guessing you might say. I grew up knowing that they (above) were the masters of the mysterious force known as love. The keepers of it even. I often wondered if I would be fit to star in one of their films as an alehandro type (sought by all the women with some noble back story) but alas, I fear my tolerance for nonsense like I see in soap operas is low.

I have seen a girl in love, more than once and fortunately, at least a couple of those times, I was the cause. (applause now,* smiles* ) shocking eh? Yeah, believe me I know. Girls in love are usually soft. They glow like bulbs and have such pleasantness about them that it is almost annoying, when they aren’t fighting their significant others that is. Girls in love have a certain buoyant demeanor about them, almost as if they walk on air like they have jet packs. Men, ok at least the ones I have seen, are different.

Firstly, if a guy is in love, his boys are almost always guaranteed to be the last to know, this probably has something to do with the name calling and flowing jokes that follow but, such moments build a man, Haha. Once in a while, it may happen that a man is coerced by unfair threats by his girl to say such things as I love you back at the end of a call but in the presence of his boys, most guys hunch their shoulders and speak in whispers in a corner as if they are trying to hide. Despite all efforts, chances are that his boys will usually be calling him names like wuss and whipped and such but will have EXACTLY the same reaction when called themselves. After the conversation, the man in question proceeds to change the subject instantly lest the group turns on him and starts poking fun at him.

Men do not share love stories with other men. Ok, at least the ones I know. We tend to encapsulate it all in vague statements. For example, if a man in a relationship is asked by his friend how they are doing, his answer will probably be a one sentence answer like:

Who, her? Oh, We are good.

or

I'm not so sure how things are going

or

Oh her, we broke up, so uh yeah.

The reason for this you may ask? I have no definitive answer but my guess is a lot in the relationship tends to get past many men hence for some mystically baffling reason, they are usually among the last to know that their significant others are unhappy. I blame this on men’s poor ability to read body language.

This is what I have so far, I will write again about this, sometime though I will add this. Uhh, here is my take on the whole bloody thing 

 Love

A love so pure like a sword forged from pure diamonds, strong and beautiful yet inescapably brittle, priceless and dangerous. A love I fear, a Love that pierces my body and ignites my spirit, inspires my thoughts and lends wings to my emotions such that I conquer the heavens and live in the clouds. A Love that brings me to my knees in awe of all creation and in my part in it, a timeless love, a worthy cause, a life worth living.

Ahem, now if you will excuse me, I have to go and recollect my man points or I will be unable to face my boys this weekend.

Yeah, have a good one

The holidays

Ah, Christmas. Not my favorite holiday (April fools, nothing to do with the intelligence of my friends, cough) but I remember as a child how it would symbolize food, drink and presents. It would also mean a trip to the countryside to visit my grandparents. As a child, there was nothing more exciting, I loved road trips, especially since my father had a...uh need for speed. I would sit up for most of the journey, studying his movements as he skillfully drove towards my biggest childhood adventure. I inherited the need though, it's a family thing.

well, as long as its not a cop car :-)

My earliest Christmas memory involves a chicken. Yes, a chicken with a rightfully bad temper because as a child, I loved animals. Frogs, chameleons, dogs and snakes even. I'm still not sure why. Anyway, I liked chicks (still do ha, but uh...different meaning). I liked those fluffy yellow little things and I wanted to play with them. Mother hens were not too pleased with my scheming to get one though. I was chased around the compound by them severally in a way that led me to respectfully keep my distance from those fowl chickens, ha, until my late teenage years. I knew those things were sinister and evil with their flappy wings and their wild bird calls (read cackling). I then decided to hatch one on my own. In my defense, I was very young. I procured an egg and put it under my pillow one night. Imagine my disappointment the next morning when there was no chick there, ha. The egg was under my head the whole night and did not break, this in no way says anything about the weight of my brain, ahem. That Christmas, I learnt that all things take time.

well, timing is everything, haha

I longed for Christmas in the city the more I grew up. I would hear stories about wild parties and fun galore while I was in the village. Oh the jealousy I held in. Then one Christmas, I got my wish. I was in the city but my loving father was not convinced that wild partying was a worthwhile Christmas celebration for his sixteen year old. My months of careful scheming were for nothing, I was foiled. Biscuits!

Soon enough, I was old enough to party if I wished but yet again I was foiled. My astute father did not believe that all those years of watching him drive had magically bestowed upon me impeccable driving skills. Biscuits! It's still a sound argument in my books, ha. Therefore, no partying took place.

ok, ok, yes it went something like that, haha

When I eventually did get to party, I hated it. The clubs were full of people competing to be more inebriated, the bouncers thought they were gatekeepers to untold treasures and even if I got in, finding a seat was an unexpected type of hell. I figured that I had missed the bus and the next two also. Supporting evidence of this came when I tried to party on New Year’s Eve two years ago. I still don't know why every vehicle possible in the city of Nairobi was parked in front of me half an hour to the New Year because I did my new year’s countdown while stuck in traffic; no actually, I was in a parking lot that was charted on Google maps as a main road. Biscuits!! Digestive biscuits in fact. I could not believe it.

After that, I concluded that unless I am at a house party, I will stay home or hang out with friends elsewhere. After all, my take on the holidays is that it is best spent with friends and family. I like to think of that as the best gift of all.

Happy holidays people

pictures from google

Girls and driving

See? See what I did there?? I used two separate words. Now there is a reason for this, really there is because there actually are girls who can drive really well. I rest assured that I can out drive any of them though... *scampers for cover*. In addition, there are some who are the reason for pictures such as the one below.

It so happens that I have had the honor of teaching two talented girls something about driving (probably only how to turn on the car and switch it off but hey). Oddly, they are both Tom boys (Tom men?? Ah English, she makes no sense sometimes) with a propensity towards road rage. You should hear them…uh express distaste, their rants can make the scraggliest men fresh out of hunting adventures in the wild blush like schoolgirls. I would dare say that they have a commanding presence on the road.

 I have also seen the other side of this coin. Oh my have I seen it. I have been driven in a car in such a way that my nervousness had me hovering millimeters above my seat anxious about my safety and my promising future (aspiring watchman). I have been in a car driven by a girl who knew for a fact that she was born an F1 driver (only in her mind) and held my breath for so long that I almost popped the buttons on my shirt.

 ok, this did not happen but i would not have been surprised

As of a month or so ago, I would like to take responsibility and apologize to the world for releasing a particular half baked lunatic on the roads. She mastered the basics in a time that I previously considered impossible for girls and has hence taken on the advanced tactics of insulting other clearly mad drivers with words that would make the foulest of sailors blush and hide below decks. Though I suspect she used the tactics below to pass her test...

I came across another girl who can drive recently. No, not get a car from point a to b, drive fast, drive well and skillfully. I was quite relieved after a certain competition, that she did not kick my behind whether it was by pure luck or coincidence. I still deny that I was seen crossing my fingers and mouthing unheard prayers to stay unbeaten. She beat scores of men by the way, I think they probably consoled themselves with alcoholic beverages. She was one girl I would definitely trust to drive me.

The other girl who I respect greatly garners her own respect. Public transport drivers near where she lives know of her. She drives like a man, not just any man though. She drives with the raw testosterone of a truck driver whose image is conjured by imagining a burly bearded man in a baseball cap whose elbow sticks out of an eighteen wheelers cabin and is able to spit a comet-like gob earthwards without causing even the slightest twitch in the blade of grass in the corner of his mouth.

well, im convinced :-)

The point is, girls can drive. Granted, not all but the few who can are as valued and as rare as honest mechanics. The other side of this coin is that there are men who cannot drive, even to save their lives. I will point no fingers *cough* nyaks *cough*.

All in all, girls are awesome.

Have a good one

This week, I saw this awesome video i have to share, the dancing amuses me immensely, haha

pictures from google

Boobs

Got your attention eh?  Well yes, that is exactly what I will talk about today, boobs. Happy topic eh? I'm imagining a few men getting foolishly wide grins on their faces right about ....

 Now.

Ok then, I have never had boobs and that is not going to change for any of those who might have had hopes. I am a big fan though. If ever there was a reason to thank the primordial ooze from which we evolved for taking that first step that brought us this far, boobs would be it. ( insert hearty claps) Capable of starting world wars and stopping charging wrestlers in their tracks, in a way, boobs run the world.

I'm a month late to start my breast awareness conservation but in my opinion, breasts should be conserved throughout the year, October is simply an important a reminder. Given how I grew up in a culture where, as I write this, I hunch my shoulders and almost blush with childishness every time I write boob, I hoped to share one silly man's take on boobs *hunch* haha.

As a manly man (who likes strawberry shakes and veggies, yes I said it), I found boobs in my teenage years. Before that I have no idea where they were hiding because I knew nothing of them. When I discovered them though, it's like I opened pandora's box. Being a healthy young teen in a school with girls was chaos. They were everywhere, and when they were not visible I had involuntarily taken mental pictures. It took me a while of talking to girls before I was able to convince their boobs to stop staring at my eyes. Ha. It was a hard fight though the war rages on as boobs everywhere compel my eyes with their sinister will.

I was recently talking with the girl who is mad enough to date this blogger and I had a mini breakthrough. We were discussing breast feeding (random eh?). I was somehow enlightened. For some reason, I simply do not make that connection when it comes to boobs. I mostly see slow motion jogging (the glorious bounce), bikinis (hair flipping water scenes) and for some inexplicable reason chests belonging to girls who take body building much too seriously. Apart from entertaining men, boobs are actually functional, I mean, really, who knew.

Some time ago, I read the results of a study that said something about looking at boobs being healthy for men. How ridiculous, I thought, but the supporting evidence was compelling. Apparently, staring at boobs can help men live longer because it boosts blood flow in the body, no really, and that’s good for the heart according to scientists. If you ask me, that was money very well spent. Those guys deserve a peace prize or something. Finally, a legal and healthy reason to look at boobs. I fear though that many girlfriends and wives will fail to see the benefits their men reap from such proven wisdom. I have posted the link thus click here. See for yourselves.

As for my opinion, I'm heavily under the illusion that I'm ridiculously good looking hence my aloof and mostly proud nature. Thus boobs must prove to me that they are worth my time, I have lots of awesomeness crammed into one day so I have to know whether its worth sharing, like the kid at the playground with sandwiches in his lunchbox who will only trade with a kid with cake. #thatshowido 

Have a good one people

pictures from google

The friend Zone *shudders*

I was watching an episode of the xfactor the other day and I saw something that made me stifle my laughter lest I am considered mean. A young man and a lady were up on stage and were about to sing a duo. The young man was enthusiastic, young and full of energy. He was a nice guy, I dare say now that I think about it that I think he was more talented but at the time, its not what I noticed. The judges clearly have this thing they do in which they ask a few questions to try and know the performers better so they asked. The guy was rather close to the girl and I noticed from his body language that he must like the girl because I could have sworn that she was not his sister. The female judge picked up on this and immediately asked them if they were dating. I laughed out loud involuntarily as the guy blushed shamelessly, almost hiding behind the girl completely. Embarrassingly though, the girl was unmoved, she just stared at the judges and calmly said no, they were not. Oh the pain in his eyes haha, sorry I'm a bit of a yobbo sometimes. I felt a mix of sympathy and evil glee for I have been there a couple of times myself though in my defense, it was not on public television and I was not singing.

Quite accurate, wouldn't you say?

 Hence my post, the friendship lagoon (according to my genius friend Andrew) which is described as the friend zone, best friends and all manner of deluding adjectives. Such a sad place this is, haha, for the victim that is. Depending on the nature and different dynamics of the situation, I usually feel either a degree of empathy or it amuses me more than it probably should. 

 How does this situation arise??

Well, it usually starts with one party in the situation being attracted to the other whereas the recipient party shares not the same attraction. It goes both ways though it is by far more common to find a guy who is inexorably attracted to a girl who does not feel the same.

The sting of this situation usually occurs at some point when the person who is attracted gets courage to confess their feelings to the recipient and usually get rebuffed with a resounding statement like we are just friends or you are like a brother/sister to me. Hahaha. At this moment, I have no sympathy for I know how many times I have said this, ahem. Forgive my cockiness, I will resume speaking sense.

 Ha, some things are just what they are

Is there a solution in sight for the lovestruck?

I fear not. Science is yet to come up with a spray that will instantly create attraction where there was none and if they do, I hope they never say. In Kenya, I have seen posters on lamp posts and other less than reputable places with notices that claim that they can solve your love problems, love potions and what not. HAha, what fool nonsense. If it works, if someone can give me proof of actual results, I will willingly consume a bowl of grass to symbolize eating my words. I sense that all the grass in Kenya is safe now.

What then is the way forward for the hopeless, is there a champion who will show them the way?

I would love at this point to take credit and take this burden upon myself and free the nerds… uh I mean the lovestruck everywhere so they may have wonderful fulfilling relationships but, its not up to me. In all honesty, the only person who can ever solve this is usually already in it. Just be yourself, if they like it, kudos and all the best, if they don’t, move on.

That’s my weekly dose of genius,

Have a great great weekend, be good to your friends, haha 

ps I could not believe that there is a whole site dedicated to this. Haha, I'm conflictingly amused and baffled by this phenomenon.

http://hoverhands.org/

This is my Cool song this week

Pick up artist vs casanova (game part 2)

Feel free to read the first part of this post click here

Ok then. Grrrr…. I hate it aaaahhh. It sucks so bad and I feel like my hands are tied. I hate it when I meet my ex and she is looking like a million shillings I never spent, oh the frustration. Ok, ok I'm done. But ahhh, why cant she just look bad eh? Am I asking for too much? Really? I think not. Surely, it must go against some rule written somewhere reputable apart from the blogosphere. Sigh. Its beyond my considerable powers.

HAha this picture was just too awesome

 

Not too long ago, I was going through my friends hard disk gathering series to watch and I came across a folder with an interesting name. The pick up artist. Interesting, I thought. So I asked him what it was about. One of my friends proclivities with regard to entertainment involved videos of the hot and steamy nature and I did not wish to sully my young virgin eyes ha. He told me it was safe so I added it to my selection.

  Yup, thats them

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Pickup_Artist_(TV_series)

I watched the show a little while later and found it quite interesting. It was actually about what the title was. Picking up girls. No, not like napkins from the floor but starting engaging conversations that give uh options. The show was about some clueless men who were being shown the ropes. At the end of the episode, predictably, the man who performed the weeks challenge poorest went home. I learnt a thing or two myself, I admit.

 

well, i imagine it goes something like this

Thus the post, the two types of game. The pick up artist and the casanova. The pick up artist is a specialist in one night stands, friends with benefits and generally the practice of getting some. They usually have uh options on speed dial and usually have some theory or solution for their emotions.

The other type of game is the Casanova. They are usually masters of emotion. Kings of context, know what to say it and when. They are charming, warm and for the time in which they give you attention, you feel over the moon. Neither type of game has more importance than the other. In fact, I would say they balance each other.

Im sorry, that look is just priceless haha

The pick up artist is a genius at first encounters, first dates (if any) and quick exits. The Casanova is more emotionally vested, they charm, romance and almost have a physical hold on the person. The pick up artist can get the girl but the Casanova can keep her for as long as they want.

The pick up artist lives the way they do because they either do not have time for relationships, they only want the physical uh benefits or even fear commitment. They have their appeal. The Casanova is a master of relationships but not as good at picking them up. Sure, they may have more than one person at a time but they tend to focus more on quality than quantity.

I had such wisdom to share with regard to this then I lost the file that I typed it in. Quite frustrating I say. Thus instead I will write about my week. This week, I had my first photo shoot. Test shoot actually with a young talented photographer and it was my first time. I imagined it would be easy cause, well, its me. It wasn't. I was nervous, just a bit, enough for it not to be too obvious.

 No, it was nothing like that though :-)

Have a great weekend peoples

pictures from google

Game

I tried to read this, really, i did, didn't teach me much, i could ask to get my money back...

High school was hellish for me. I was small, infamous for my big mouth and I found women baffling and intricately complex.  I had a friend, let's call him HOrace for the sake of this story ha. He seemed to know what made them tick. How? I wondered, how in his not so lengthy existence had he solved this puzzle known as girls? I could not bring myself to ask him what he did. I often tried to eavesdrop on his conversations to learn his secrets (not proud of this but what could I do) to no avail. His conversations did not have the key words or magic I envisioned. He did not pull out a pocket watch and hypnotize his er... Victims. It simply did not add up. Plus, the young man got some. Lots off it, in fact, the tail seemed to chase him. Sure there were other guys who got lucky periodically but HOrace was on a level of his own. I gave up on understanding women then and focused on video games. At least they made sense.

haha, I asked this question waay too often.

HOrace is still a good friend of mine. Great man. Still doing his thing (no surprises there,haha), but I now have a clearer understanding of what was happening hence my post. I will attempt to answer the questions below to define clearer what I speak of and what my good friend had in abundance before I could even look a girl in the eye.

What is this fabled and mysterious power?

What does it involve? How can I obtain it ( is it a sword set in stone kind of thing or can one get it off a supermarket shelf)

Game. It is everything yet nothing (haha, I'm shamelessly attempting to sound wise and all). It is everything you do and everything you are. It can also be defined by what you do not do. Complex eh? Not really, stay with me. Swag, moves like Jagger, usain bolts confident aura, mario balotelli's arrogant attitude, Barrack Obama's eloquent speeches, Alejandro's walk, khal drogo's warrior ways (for dee) e.t.c.

I say, hats off to his presentation and composure.

All of them have lots of game. Game is simply how you dress, how you walk, how you talk and who you are. Hence the everything and nothing statement. It's the way the world perceives you and at the same time it  is how you see yourself. Therefore you are born with it. Oh, by the way this goes for guys and for girls.

How do I know if I have it? Does it have custodians who hid it in some temple of doom or something?

Why the heavens is it so powerful?

My great friend HOrace had seen the insides of a gym for a considerable amount of time while we were still in high school. In fact, he was the reason most of us would use silly excuses like the weather forecast on the days that we were having swimming lessons. Oddly, it isn't even what this game is about. I even dare to reference the sexy and I know it song by LMFAO here. That lead singer looks like he would face great difficulty if requested to do a push up. But believe me, he got game.

Why is it so powerful? Well, I have a theory on that though I must ask that you please do not quote me in your term papers. The mating game has rules and all, no? Ok then, the force of attraction/pure lust that we often feel is simply our bodies telling us that we have found a viable option with whom fireworks can happen. I theorize that after years of evolution, instead of bright feathers and mating calls, humans now have the force of attraction rather than the mating rituals animals have. On an individual level, it boils down to game, the source of all attraction. Game recognize game.

In my experience, there are two types of game. I will expand on this in my next post. oh, wait, one last question,

Yup, i mean it.

Thanks for reading. Have a good one :-)


photos from google

99 problems

I tried so hard to wait until Friday to publish this post but of late I have been writing quite a bit so I will just post them one by one. Anyway, here goes.

Could this be true?? hmm i wonder...

Like the song with this posts title, I have issues I face periodically but girls have never been one. While at the gym today, some of the regulars started a conversation about women and the problems they represent and how men's behavior changes around them. I chuckled so hard that I almost dropped the baby weights I was attempting to look macho with. I even contributed a couple of lines while trying to keep them talking because I found their views rather amusing.

Firstly, it is amazing how strong and fairly good-looking men in my gym lose composure whenever a girl or lady walks in. It has nothing to do with how attractive she is. Most times, they just want to be noticed. I have  seen a man attempt to lift a weight far beyond his capabilities, with veins bulging from his arms and face with such sheer will that his eyes seem to want to leave their sockets to help. Then with each greatly labored lift he heaves so loud that no one at all in the gym can ignore it, with the simple hope of catching a girls attention. What stands out most for me is that he is not alone, spread out in the gym, men who usually bear their burdens in silence suddenly find their voices and the resulting cacophony of men trying to make the loudest noise leaves me shaking my head, quite amused for few, if any girls ever face them. They just finish up and leave.

This guy deserves some sort of prize, i mean, really?

Then my fellow fitness enthusiasts discussed (after the girl walked out, with calm voices no doubt) how men are weak. They went to the extent of quoting that only one or two men in the bible were able to resist a lady's charms. At this point, I put down my sissy weights as I found this too amusing for me to concentrate. They spoke with such passion, each sharing a story in which a "friend" was approached by another friends girlfriend and how it ended as the girl desired. They were resolute.

Haha how silly

Then the conversation shifted to how everything that men do is for a girl, somewhere whether it is a daughter, a girlfriend, a wife, a mother, a sister or even a girl who has potential. They complained briefly about how ridiculous and unfair the situation was, one gym instructor even saying that girls all over are just growing fat while he keeps in shape but eventually, they all admitted, girls are the root of many problems, regardless of the fact that men simply cannot live without them.  One individual even said that most people were in the gym because of a girl somewhere to which almost everyone brushed off saying that they are only there for their personal fitness. When asked one by one though, most of the men in the gym could not back up their claims of not being there because of a girl. I was impressed somehow, I was glad to see that the gym was not full of muscle heads but that the men I was with are actually very smart.

As a final demonstration of how much control women have over men, one gym instructor walked over to a window then wolf whistled and said aloud how pretty a girl he saw walking past is. Weights were dropped unceremoniously as men rushed to the window hurdling machines and weights hoping to get a glimpse of her before she passes from view as they jostled for space and a better view at the window. I doubt the girl even noticed the faces ogling at her as she walked past.

I found this rather interesting. Women really, really baffle men. They try oh so hard to do the right thing but they just seem to get momentary breakthroughs then they are back to the same old. I'm not even sure how to end this post, I'm just glad I'm me.

photos from google

Driving stick shift...

Let me share a little from a conversation that I had some time ago. Once, in the course of conversation with my main advisers of a different time, the subject of how to get laid came up. As I remember now, men really do say some crazy things, (shakes head and chuckles). Anyway, one of our most respected consultants spoke up and professed how he had bought new cologne that drove women wild and we all leaned forward and listened attentively, each eager to discover this well kept secret that had eluded us for the better part of our lives. Each of us willing to be instantly transformed and propelled to the fame and glory we all knew we deserved, ha. He said he bought very irresistible by Givenchy and in the week that he had worn it, he got laid twice. He spoke some nonsense about how the perfume had pheromones that attracted women without you having to lift a finger and in our minds there was scientific proof backing this so we were convinced we had solved the puzzle, you should have seen the grins on our faces ha.

misleading adverts will be the end of me haha

After the conversation, our minds were blown. Twice? Really? That was two times more than some of us haha. I remember immediately dispatching my mum who travels often to purchase the magic stuff rubbing my palms in evil anticipation of the havoc I was sure I would wreak upon my university. I envisioned a trail broken hearts, with women clinging to my leg as I walked away showing absolutely no interest. I believed that this was the final piece of my puzzle that I would combine with my other crafted techniques to finally capture the mind and heart of at least one pretty victim. Needless to say, my efforts were a fart in the wind as women did not swoon in my presence nor make offers of uh... Lovemaking as I anticipated. Neither did I overcome my persistent fear of women. Point is, most men are clueless about how women function.

Haha, how true

Of things that get under my skin, one of the major issues is girls who metaphorically have difficulties with driving (pardon the pun) stick shift.  We more often hear about men who have no idea what to do once the lights are turned down low because women voice their opinions more but we never hear about upstanding men with sore issues that need addressing. (ahem)

It is obvious then that we are not born with biological manuals of out significant others thus it behoves us to make efforts to find out things about each other that we like. Otherwise a periodic result is bruises in unmentionable places, soiled relationships and unpleasant experiences.

I have heard such horror stories and experienced one or two of my own. Given our greatly differing anatomies, sometimes pressure has been put in the wrong place and at the wrong, uh, speed and the end result has been lack of appreciation for the effort. In fact, it is even possible for the man to break his gear stick while driving and take ages to heal thereafter. A rather serious matter if I do say so myself that gives men chills to think about.

 So i hear, i have no information on the subject

In my view, these are two sides of the same coin. There are similar complaints on both sides of the gender divide and there is only one way that gap can be bridged. Honest communication. The moment that a man changes his view of lovemaking from seeing his female partner as a victim of his driving to a willing participant then the whole experience becomes better almost instantly. It is true that most men have an interesting approach to driving. They sometimes see women like cars, a vehicle (not literally, obviously) to get from where they are to their happy place, aha. They sometimes forget that girls also have a desired destination and are not cars but fellow travelers. This I believe is one of the main causes as to why girls sometimes withhold the privilege of driving and prefer to wait for a qualified driver.

All in all, no matter what or how you drive, you still control your own individual action therefore asking for directions every once in a while can seem embarrassing but, wouldn't you rather be able to drive for real rather than fumble about in the dark?

Have a good one people

pictures from google